I walked out of an abusive marriage

I been going through so much this past year, walked out of an abusive marriage, staying by family with my 3 kids but had to find a place on my own as situations become difficult with kids being unhappy.

I found a place but far from kids schooling, and asked assistance from father to let them reside with him till I can sort out schooling for them. He didn’t want them at first so a family member assisted but kids didn’t listen as I always did things for them.

They ended up by their dad, as it was one of his family that took kids. They by me every alternative weekend and he wanted full custody of kids. I contested against this as of his history, my question really now is I’m I a bad mom trying to find my feet waiting on court date to get my kids back, financially I’m not stable as I have huge debts I made while I was still married, I cry daily feeling that I have failed my kids, did I have to stay in and abusive marriage to keep a home for my kids or let them see their mom unhappy as I am still coz I don’t have my kids with me as they keep me here.