Not in a million years would I have thought I would be in this situation. I am 33 years old and a survivor of domestic violence and was trapped in the grasps of a controlling (weak and insecure) man. My story is like many others, I thought it was me. He had me convinced that I was the one to blame, that everything that had happened was my fault. Caused by my immaturity and lack of humanity and emotion.
I turned to alcohol to cope with the pain, all the hurting, the countless beatings, the never ending emotional abuse and the insecurities and numerous times I tried to direct his anger and violence onto me for the sake of my children and family. I too thought I loved him and that I couldn’t live without him. And truly I thought I was doing the best for my kids By keeping our family together. In just 6 months I have proven to myself that I don’t need him and I am more than capable of surviving on my own.
There’s two reasons why I left him, her name is Leah and his is J. They deserve to know growing up that not all men are like that and that’s not how they treat someone they say they love. Believe me he still tries. And now looking back I can see all the flaws, all the mistakes I’ve made all the endless nights I told myself things would change… but never did. I’m not done fighting I won’t lose my hope. I am one second job away from being the theme song to Reba’s show and song “survivor”.
Because that’s who I am and that’s who I want my kids to see me as…a survivor. Strong brave courageous independent God-fearing mother who would and will do anything to protect my babies at ALL costs. If I didn’t have those two I wouldn’t be here. You don’t define me Jeremy! Your words mean nothing to me. I don’t need you in my life and I sure as hell don’t need you to survive. I’m tired of living life just trying to make it through a day, hour or minute.
I AM a survivor and I have one thing you will never have nor want. I have God on my side. I have had an angel watching over me for longer than the last 14 years you held me in your control. I am no longer your punching bag, possession or whatever I was to you. I am Ashley Ann Surratt! I am and always will be a child of God and a mother to my my children. AND I WILL fight like hell for them!!!