I stayed with my abuser for 22 year’s and had 5 kid’s with this man.

Hi,I have just joined your group and I really wish I had a support group when I was going through this.I stayed with my abuser for 22 year’s and had 5 kid’s with this man.

I thought he was the love of my life and then I noticed small things first like being really possessive over little things like telling me what to wear or always not liking my friends around me then it got to the point he would start pushing me and raising his voice and at this time we only had 2 kids and I was just thinking it was me that I did something wrong so I made sure that I try not to aggravate him so much but then he started drinking more then that’s when it got worse and he didn’t want me to hangout with my friends because they were a bad influence on me.

He would mine mess with me like telling me that my friend’s were hidden up on him and if I wanted a family that I would take him before my friends and and at this point I was pregnant again and I wanted to work for my kids sake so things calm down for about a year but still drinking a lot more then one day we got in an argument and I told him that I wanted to be treated equally and I was sitting at the edge of the bed with my baby and we had a old air conditioner on the ground by the Bed and when I told him that he got pissed 😡😠 and pushed me and I lost my balance and fell on the air conditioner but I had my baby on the same arm and thank God hurt myself and not my baby.the worn was so Bad my elbow was sliced to pieces if I didn’t put my arm in the way it could of been the baby’s head and who knows what would have happened then but I never did go to the doctors I actually put a stick in my mouth and cleaned it and dealt with a pain and at this point I was scared to death but I still stay.

Then after that it got worse and now he was spitting on me and calling me names telling me I would never amount to nothing and that no buddy would want me cause I was fat and if I told anyone what he was doing that I would pay for it and the end so I did want I was told and still had 2 more kids all together 5 kid’s with this man.it got to the point that every time we went somewhere I had to put my head down and never to look out the window or I would get in trouble and all this time the only thing I can think about was my kids.they were seeing the abuse but I try to not have the kids around it but he use them against me.Dont get me wrong I was tired of it but I got put down for so long I started to believe it and especially when he had called me a c***lower than a c*** was a ankle didn’t understand normal thinking.that was pretty Bad and the most decorating thing that he did was spitting in my face then after words wanted to have sex ,and who in their right mind would want to have sex so he took it whether I want it or not and that is date rape at that point in time I had no clue.one time we were driving and he got mad at me and started screaming and I have the kids in the car and we are on the highway and he was going about a hundred miles an hour in and out of traffic I thought for sure I was going to die andanother time me and him was driving and we got in an argument and he threw me out of a car going 40 miles an hour and I was pretty bruised up but I was so pissed off I walked home after he did that. I was at my last wit and I had to make a change and I finally told him that he needed to do something different or I was going to leave and that nightwasn’t very good night I had to take my kids and leave that night and we stayed in the Denny’s parking lot for hours because my mom wouldn’t let us go over thereand I have no other place to go finally I had to let him calm down before I can go back home and afterseveral years later still with the abused still spitting in my face pushing me throw me against tables I have scars all over my body from him hurting me and finally I just clicked one day and I said I’m done I’m tired of it can’t do it no more and I left. Only regret I have is for putting my kids through that but now I haven’t been with him for five years and I’m doing so much better and for anybody that is going through this you’re worth it you’re wonderful you’re beautiful you’re amazing don’t let anybody cut you down or think that you’re nothing they are the ones that have the low self-esteem they have to cut you down to make you feel better.

So after 22 years I finally left the man of my dreams the love of my life the father of my kids I thought we were never going to be free and finally I was free. Always make sure to keep your head up high you can do this you’re better than that 😉❤️💕