I was seeing someone from work for about 8 months

Hi all, I need some advice please. I was seeing someone from work for about 8 months. I’d known him 4 years as a friend and he always told me he was separated from his wife.

Anyways some time into the relationship found out he is still living with her. He begged me to stay with him and he doesn’t speak to her they have no relationship etc..he’s only there for kids sake. I foolishly stayed. So he goes on holiday in April and met someone else..avoided taking my calls made excuses.

When he got back without any reason/explanation broke up with me. I was totally broken and felt humiliated for months as everyone at work found out too. I was off work and when i went back 10 weeks later he was off work so we never had to see one another. Now he has come back to work and I keep hiding from him cos I don’t want to face him or speak to him even though I have alot to say.

He messaged me twice this week but I ignored him. I’m confused with what to do now I can’t avoid him forever yet I’m afraid I still love him and don’t wanna fall weak by forgiving him so soon.

Part of me thinks just speak to him act normal like it hasn’t affected you but another part of me remembers the pain he put me through and he doesn’t deserve my friendship or forgiveness.